the accident

roots

I’ve had a couple people ask me why I took my blog down so shortly after declaring its existence to the world over Facebook.  The answer is simple: that was a big, fat accident.  I created this blog a few weeks ago to be a place for me to collect my thoughts and ideas and to encourage me to get some writing practice.  

I did want to share this blog one day, but I wasn’t quite ready to yet.  That’s why I had it linked to my social media in the first place.  I just forgot that WordPress likes to post to Facebook automatically once you’ve done so.  I’m kinda stupid.

There was some irony in everyone thanking me for sharing my story and being so vulnerable online when I hadn’t tried to share anything.  Not that I regret opening up about my struggles with mental health.  I have always believed that I should be open about my anxiety and depression and my attempts to get better through counseling.  I want to help others struggling with similar issues realize that they are not alone, and that there is nothing wrong with getting help.  I just wasn’t ready to do it so publicly over the internet.

But now that I have, I don’t think I should keep this thing on private anymore.  And not just because my amazing little brother paid for the URL, and I’d be wasting his money if I did.  I was overwhelmed by the support I received.  I really wasn’t proud of anything I’ve written on here so far.  I don’t really proofread these posts.  When it was just me reading them it didn’t matter, so I’d type them up and hit the publish button.  

Only time will tell if I actually start putting more effort into them now that I know that someone might be reading them.  But having people compliment my writing in spite of that was really encouraging.  Those of you who reached out to me are freaking awesome.

So back up goes my blog.  I want to be real here.  I want to be sassy and opinionated and straightforward and sarcastic as all hell.  I just want to be me, Delaney Pollard, pure and simple.  Mental health will probably be a major topic, as will the college experience as a whole, and my journey to find myself along the way.  

As I was graduating from high school, filled with fear of the unknown as I prepared to head off to Baylor, I listened to the song “Roots Before Branches” by Room For Two over and over.  (Okay so maybe I only know about the song because of Glee.  And maybe I listen to the Glee version about three times as much as the original.  Stop judging me Lea Michele is my queen.)  I really identified with the song’s theme of not knowing what you’re going to do or be.  This song helped me realize at the time that it was okay to not have any clue what my branches were going to be.  It was just time to start finding my roots.

I gotta have roots
Before branches
To know who I am
Before I know who I’m gonna be

So I guess now a year later I’m finally starting to find my roots, and that’s why I started this whole darn blog in the first place.  If you have any interest, this is your official invitation to read along as I continue to grow.

 

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